I feel like I can't write about "BEING BUSY" because every time I think about it people with jobs just respond..."OH you have NO idea".
You know what. They might be correct. Maybe I don't. I 100% believe that your day was hard. I'm sure you could have benefitted from another hour of sleep. I'm sure you did not want to get dressed in your best this morning, drop your kids off at school, and start the daily grind. If you tell me your day was hard, I BELIEVE YOU. If you say you are tired and exhausted, I think I cannot imagine having to get up and leave my kids daily. I flat out couldn't do it. You are a superhero. It's fantastic that you work. I'm IMPRESSED. Your JOB gives you a special identity. Something that is your OWN. I VALUE that. YOU ARE FANTASTIC. YOU WORK YOUR ASS OFF. You are changing the world. And I VALUE that! I celebrate that. I love that you work hard. I SERIOUSLY admire so many of my friends who selflessly take care of others at work. I have AMAZING working friends, both moms and not. I am so so so proud of and inspired by them. And honored that you would consider little old stay at home mommy me to be your friend!
But so often, I feel like I am less than you because I stay home. And I am pretty sure you think of me that way. Like my times is less valuable than yours. Like I don't work half as hard because I didn't get a CHANCE to shower. Because I didn't log what I did today (unless you count my facebook as logging....because I totally did post that my kid stuck a cheerio up his nose today and super hero me got it out! JK that didn't happen. But I would.)
So when a stay at home mom or work from home mom tells you that she is tired to please don't respond, "You have no idea!" You're right. I don't know how hard it is to go to work each day. But you have NO idea how mindlessly busy staying home can be, how much time I spend doing things for other people. I feel unjustified so frequently because my busy is not "spelled out," No grown ups say "you must accomplish this today." My kids do. But you're in charge they say. YOU make the schedule. Sure. I do.
I say today we have gymnastics, the grocery store, and mommy will be doing her workout and taking care of her clients during nap. We will be making dinner and Jocelyn, you must do your homeschool activities before any TV. But what people don't see, is that when my son suddenly decides it'll be fun to flood the bathroom, I don't get to say...sorry it's not time for that. I have to STOP. Discipline him. Explain to him why that's wrong. An adult didn't tell me to stop. A child did. A child who is MY responsibility to shape for the future. A child who I MUST do my best with for the sake of the future generation.
So no, I did not run to the bus stop this morning. I planned a homeschool curriculum.
I did not get up and put on my suit this morning. My son woke up "before he was supposed to" (you know, since *I* set the schedule) and I was making breakfast while my husband got ready for work.
I did not go out and do a coffee run for this office this morning. I drank my coffee at home while cleaning the kitchen and scraping a fussy toddler up off the floor.
I do NOT get a lunch break today. You may not either. I'm sorry. I know it sucks. But if you do, please enjoy it for me. You may be using it to pick up your dry cleaning and stay busy. That's ok too. Soak in some solitude. Put that damn phone down for a second and realize that while you wait in line by yourself, you are NOT busy. And enjoy it. I totally would if I could EVER wait in a line by myself.
OWN YOUR MOMENTS OF SOLITUDE. You get them. They are small.
You know what I'm doing in this moment? I'm writing a blog. Am I busy? NO. This is what I am doing in my free time. For fun. I am not stressed out right now. My kids are watching Sesame Street. Maybe you think I'm a bad Mom because I want to take a break and write and let my kids watch Sesame Street. That's OK. I don't care because my not yet 2 year old just sang that alphabet along with it. BAM. Sometimes technology is useful!
But really back to the point. I am tired of it. I am tired of arguing that I am busy. And that what i did today was valuable.
So I am going to stop. It's a silly argument.
And it's useless.
And really, it just kills some of my energy and makes it hard for me to keep going.
So today, yes I was busy. But I'm going to stop saying it.
I'm glad I was busy. It's a sign my life is worthwhile.
I am busy whether you believe it or not.
I'm going to keep being busy and stop whining about it.
#PEACEOUT
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